i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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