Well apparently he's into motor boating.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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