No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
