well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
They have beer where we have blood.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
