it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
