I could have mohawked her pubes.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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