Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
