nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
