Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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