she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
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You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
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Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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