who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
When did angry sex become our thing?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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