is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize