Ambien. No doubt about it.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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