He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I hate all girls vehemently.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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