don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
