can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
