Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I got inside last night via doggy door
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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