Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
