We left an ass print on the piano.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
