i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.