college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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