3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him