I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm too high and old for this...
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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