I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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