3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
My liver just had a heart attack.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
