HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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