My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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