...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
