Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
