Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
