o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
