My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize