Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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