After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
