3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize