Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
