It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
