hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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