Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Terrible idea I love it
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
