i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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