I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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