there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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