A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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