i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
