Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
