she was so not down for the gang bang
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
