after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
