hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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