Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
