if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
