i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Randomize
