Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
