nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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