he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize