The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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