sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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