Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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