South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize