none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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