I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
