is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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