what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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