I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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