i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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