"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
